New Years is always a difficult time for me. I would always spend New Years Eve with my parents and after Dad’s accident, welcoming a new year meant ushering in another year without my Dad.
Every year since, around this time, I get into a funk. This year it didn’t hit me on New Years Eve so I just forgot all about the whole “getting into a funk”, until it hit me a couple days ago. I dreamt of my Daddy two nights in a row and the dreams hurt. When I woke up I couldn’t shake the feeling of sadness and blah. Life is a masterpiece, some days just feel grey.
They say that when you are sad, you are living in the past (“they” being inspirational posts I’ve seen on Instagram, lol) and Eckhart Tolle encourages us to be present in the now, not the past nor future. I’m mindful of this but, still…
the sadness is there.
I have to accept that sadness is visiting and allow it to pass. It’s ok to be sad sometimes. It’s ok to be sad even if you feel you have no reason to be. It’s ok to be sad even though you feel overwhelmingly blessed. I just told myself that so I wanted to share it on my blog. Just in case someone out there was in a little funk and felt guilty about it or felt like they didn’t have a right to be hurting.
The other day I started a painting and called it “The Unraveling”. At the time, I didn’t realize I was in a funk but, a few days later it hit me. (“It” again, being why I had felt blah). The aptly titled painting totally corresponds with my mood– even though I didn’t (consciously) know it at the time. It’s amazing what our subconscious mind creates when we create from the source and not force the creative process. When you paint in this way, the paintings become an intimate look inside the heart of the artist.
So honor your feelings, create from your soul, and remain pure and vulnerable in yourself and your (he)art❤️.
Peace and Love✌🏽💜
I shall title the painting “Untangling” because she is not unraveling, she is not falling apart, rather she is untangling the knots which have restricted her flow.
“I come apart but I evolve with the flow.” -Jay Z