This week marks two years since I have dated the last guy I dated.  A few months back, I began putting some effort into a dating life and went on a couple first dates. Two guys got past the first date but besides giving one of the guys a peck, [bctt tweet=”I haven’t even kissed in two years!!” username=”noelclarkdotcom”] I have poured my time and passion into creating and creating has made love right back! Art is my high, from the art of seeking knowledge through books and documentaries to undressing and unraveling through my own words in written form, to the paint that drips off of me as I create new pieces bursting with color, romance, and drama.  My art has been fulfilling for me and I have given life to so many projects I am proud of.

The last guy I dated, two years ago, was a good guy but I didn’t see long term potential. He did and in the two years that followed, he tried many times to reconnect. But, I just no longer was in the space to want to date he or anyone else.

This “self-imposed solitude” meant a dating life became nonexistent. It wasn’t only about abstinence, I shut dating down completely. In my solitude, I embraced my art and creative projects fully and with vigor. There are a plethora of benefits of taking time for oneself. I did a blog and vlog a little bit ago called “Spirited Solitude” (Spirited Solitude Video) where I was inspired to talk about how  being alone with oneself can be a powerful force. I spoke with one gentleman, @KyleKostic, who separated himself from everything he ever knew and everything he’s ever loved to be alone 3,000 miles away from home. He attributed that solitude to his healing and the curing of his stage iv, metastasized cancer. Remarkable, isn’t it? Now, of course many of us would like to do all these wonderful things with the right partner by our side, operative word here being the “right” partner. But sometimes, it’s necessary for some people to grow as freely as a wildflower, independent of another, that is until they are met by the light of the sun. That is the magic moment.


I didn’t set out to be abstinent for a certain period of time, it kind of just happened that way because I wasn’t putting  any energy, attention, or desire into starting or maintaining a dating life. Now with my two years approaching this week, I’m like, “Ok, maybe time to balance out some of that creative energy with actually trying to meet someone.” Although I can’t snap my fingers and have my dream guy magically appear… I am looking forward to meeting someone special. Like, it shouldn’t be that hard to come across someone God fearing, mad chill, romantic and really tall…. right??? Lol, somehow for me though, being abstinent for two years proved A LOT easier than finding that needle in a haystack.

But, it’s a new day and like I said, even though I didn’t set a specific time goal for being abstinent, once I approached two years of course I was gonna ride that baby out. Now, it’s time for this girl to FINALLY make time for a dating life!

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